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Does Love Stop Listening to Money?


This interview belongs to the series SPIEGEL + Bestseller. It first appeared in October 2016.Michael Mary, 63, works as a couple therapist. He is the author of more than 30 books, including bestsellers. In the NDR and in the SWR he each had his own mission as a relationship consultant. Mary lives in Hamburg.SPIEGEL: Mr. Mary, do you find it romantic to talk about money? Mary: Of course not.SPIEGEL: You still advise couples to talk about finances as early as possible and to make clear arrangements, for example, who gets what, if the relationship should fail.Mary: I'm not talking about putting the payrolls on the table on the first date. But at the latest when a couple decides to contract, it should talk about money. And expressly: unromantisch.SPIEGEL: Money, say, is the last taboo in love.Mary: Most talk about sexual desires today very open with her partner. But hardly a couple wants to damage his love with something as profane as money. Love is personal and emotional. Money is impersonal and cold. MIRROR: But above all money is argued. Mary: It's the number one conflict issue in relationships – just because it's taboo. Most couples do not know how money affects love and how love affects money. SPIEGEL: You recommend conducting financial negotiations with your partner?

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